Wedding
Ceremony
of
Graham Rice and judywhite
Wedding
Ceremony
of
Graham Rice and judywhite
REGISTRAR INA ATTWOOD:
We are gathered together, from at least three continents and a
multitude of nations, to join this man and this woman in marriage.
This is an act as ancient as the history of the human race, and as
new as each sunrise. It is made especially new in their case because
it was Judy's and Graham's work as writers on the Internet, on
different sides of the ocean, that initially brought them together,
and flowered - literally, on a Virtual Garden - into romance. Today
Graham and Judy proclaim their love to the world, and we who are
gathered here rejoice with them and for them in the new life they now
undertake together.
Those who enter into marriage shall cherish for each other a mutual esteem, tolerance and love, shall bear each other's infirmities and weaknesses, shall comfort each other in sickness, trouble and sorrow, shall encourage each other in trials of the spirit, and live together as the heirs of life.
This relationship is not to be entered into unadvisedly, but with devotion and discretion. If the solemn vows you are about to make be kept with honor and integrity, your life will be full of peace and joy, and the homes that you are establishing both here and in the United States will be ones of warmth and understanding.
Graham, please repeat the following:
"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Graham John Frederick Rice, may not be joined in matrimony to Judiith Ann White."
GRAHAM:
[Repeats]
REGISTRAR:
Judy, please repeat the following:
"I do solemnly declare that I know not of any lawful impediment why I, Judith Ann White, may not be joined in matrimony to Graham John Frederick Rice."
JUDY:
[Repeats]
REGISTRAR:
As the poet Rainer Rilke says,
"For one human being to love another human being; this is perhaps the most difficult task that has been entrusted to us &emdash; the ultimate task, the final test and proof, the work for which all other work is merely preparation. Loving at first does not mean merger, surrender and uniting with another person. Love is a high inducement for the individual to ripen, to become something in ourselves, to become world in ourselves for the sake of another person. Love is a great, demanding claim on us, something that chooses us and calls us to vast distances."
As writers, Graham and Judy are by their very nature solitary spirits, yet because of their love for each other, they willingly choose to share their lives together, knowing that true love breeds unlimited courage and confidence, and allows the most complete of creativities.
We now invite best person Paddy Kitchen to read from William Butler Yeats:
PADDY:
The Lake Isle of Innisfree has long been a favourite poem of
both Judy and Graham. It speaks beautifully of a desire for
solitariness and rural self-sufficiency. Neither of them has lost
their need for solitude. But they have discovered they can be alone
together, untramelled by loneliness.
REGISTRAR:
Marriage is a great calling, to merge your lives while retaining your
essential core.
Remember this that Kahlil Gibran has written:
Love one another, but make not a bond of love; let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls. Fill each other's cup, but drink not of the same cup. Give one another of your bread but eat not from the same loaf. Sing and dance together and be joyous, but let each one of you be alone, even as the strings of a lute are alone though they quiver with the same music. Give your hearts, but not into each other's keeping, for only the hand of life can contain your hearts. And stand together, yet not too near together; for the pillars of a temple stand apart, and the oak and the cypress grow not in each other's shadow. But let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you.
Judy and Graham met for the first time in person on Press Day at the Chelsea Flower Show two and a half years ago. The following poem, by the nineteenth century poet John Clare, who lived much of his life in this area, encapsulates the sudden, dramatic and lasting impact which the meeting had on Graham. We now ask Graham to read :
GRAHAM:
- I ne'er was struck before that hour
With love so sudden and so sweet
Her face it bloomed like a sweet flower
And stole my heart away complete
My face turned pale a deadly pale
My legs refused to walk away
And when she looked what could I ail
My life and all seemed turned to clay- And then my blood rushed to my face
And took my eyesight quite away
The trees and bushes round the place
Seemed midnight at noon day
I could not see a single thing
Words from my eyes did start
They spoke as chords do from the string
And blood burnt round my heart- Are flowers the winters choice
Is love's bed always snow
She seemed to hear my silent voice
Not loves appeals to know
I never saw so sweet a face
As that I stood before
My heart has left its dwelling place
And can return no more &emdash;
REGISTRAR:
Such a sudden and dramatic moment was not one of those that comes and
is gone, leaving only memory. That dramatic moment grew because
Graham and Judy recognized within each other a shared spirit of
understanding, and their synergy created something more in themselves
and in each other.
The secret of love and marriage is the emergence of the larger self, the finding of one's life by giving it to another. Such is the privilege of husband and wife - to be each himself, herself, and yet another; to face the world strong, with the courage of two. The high and fine art of married life is in this mutual enrichment, this mingling of two endowments which depletes neither, but enables each.
Judy has selected to read from the innovative American poet e.e. cummings, who celebrates in this poem the magical and lasting power of the understanding and enabling heart.
JUDY:
somewhere i have never travelled,gladly beyond any
experience,your eyes have their silence:
in your most frail gesture are things which enclose me,
or which i cannot touch because they are too nearyour slightest look easily will unclose me
though i have closed myself as fingers,
you open always petal by petal myself as Spring opens
(touching skilfully,mysteriously) her first roseor if your wish be to close me,i and
my life will shut very beautifully,suddenly,
as when the heart of this flower imagines
the snow carefully everywhere descending;nothing which we are to perceive in this world equals
the power of your intense fragility:whose texture
compels me with the colour of its countries,
rendering death and forever with each breathing(i do not know what it is about you that closes
and opens;only something in me understands
the voice of your eyes is deeper than all roses)
nobody,not even the rain,has such small hands(copyright e.e.cummings)
REGISTRAR:
This marriage is shared not only by those here present today, but
also by those who have passed beyond this life. Their roles in the
lives of Judy and Graham are also remembered and honored as we savor
today's joyous moments. Join with us, then, in loving memory of all
these people, and in particular Judy's father, James Francis White,
and Judy's sister, Janet Lynn White. In their memory, let us be
silent together.
[Moment of Silence]
In the quiet of this very special moment, we pause also to give thanks for all the rich experiences of life that have brought Graham and Judy to this point in their lives. We are grateful for the values which they have found by their own strivings, and the resources within themselves they will use to create homes that shall endure.
We are especially grateful for the values, wisdoms, and insights which have flowed into them from the people who have loved them and nurtured them and pointed them along life's way. The heritage of family and friends that each brings to this marriage will continue to be an important element in their lives, and now will be shared between them. In commemoration of the merging of these two rich heritages, and in memory of those, living and dead, who were and are and continue to be part of these heritages, we now invite Graham's daughter, Lizzie, representative of the next generation, to bring forth candles that represent all who have been precious in their lives.
LIZZIE:
[Lizzie comes from seat bringing two unlit candles. She lights
one candle and hands it to Graham, then lights another and hands it
to Judy. She then returns to her seat.]
REGISTRAR:
Judy and Graham will now light a new candle with the richness of
their past, to symbolize the union of their lives.
GRAHAM/JUDY:
[Light large central candle together, then put smaller candles
nearby, still lit.]
As this day you have made a new light together, may you also continue to recognize that separateness from which your relationship has sprung. Do not extinguish your own flames. May the lights of your own special lives continue to feed the new light of love which can make your future - with its hopes and disappointments, its successes and its failures, its pleasures and its pains, its joys and its sorrows - a future filled with warmth and love, and the contented heart.
REGISTRAR/GRAHAM:
Graham, please repeat after me:
"I, Graham John Frederick Rice,
take thee, Judith Ann White,
to be my lawful wedded wife
to have and to hold
from this day forward
for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish, til death do us part
I take thee to be no other than
yourself
loving what I know of thee
trusting what I do not yet know
with respect for your integrity
and faith in your love for me
through all our years
in confidence that together
we create our destiny.
And with my whole heart
and my earnest and complete devotion
I give thee my love."
REGISTRAR/JUDY:
Judy, repeat after me:
"I, Judith Ann White,
take thee, Graham John Frederick Rice,
to be my lawful wedded husband
to have and to hold
from this day forward
for better, for worse
for richer, for poorer
in sickness and in health
to love and to cherish, til death do us part
I take thee to be no other than
yourself
loving what I know of thee
trusting what I do not yet know
with respect for your integrity
and faith in your love for me
through all our years
in confidence that together
we create our destiny.
And with my whole heart
and my earnest and complete devotion
I give thee my love."
REGISTRAR:
A circle is the symbol of the sun and the earth, and of the universe.
It is a symbol of wholeness, and perfection, and of peace. The rings
you give and receive this day, then, are symbols of the circle of
shared love into which you enter together as husband and
wife.
Graham, place the ring on Judy's finger and repeat after me, "With this ring I thee wed."
GRAHAM:
[Repeats]
REGISTRAR:
Judy, place the ring on Graham's finger and repeat after me, "With
this ring I thee wed."
JUDY:
[Repeats]
REGISTRAR:
May these rings which you give and receive this day be a symbol of
true faith in each other, and always remind each of you of the love
you share.
Inasmuch as Judy and Graham have consented together in this ceremony to live in wedlock, and have witnessed their vows in the presence of this company by the giving and receiving of rings, it gives me great pleasure to now pronounce that they are husband and wife!
We rejoice this day in the marriage of Graham and Judy. We celebrate the love that brought them here. With love that deepens through many years, may they know its meaning and its mystery - how we become truly one in sharing ourselves with one another, and yet, remain truly two in our own uniqueness.
May your houses, on whatever continent, be places of happiness for all who enter, places where the old and the young are renewed in each other's company, places for growing, places for laughter, places for solitude, places for togetherness. And when shadows and darkness fall within the rooms, may they still be places of hope and strength. And may those who are nearest to you and dearest to you constantly be enriched by the beauty and the bounty of your love for each other, and for them.
Let us end with a native American Apache blessing: